Gonna get buried but whatever... So I had just moved into an apartment with my girlfriend and decided to invite my best friend and his long time girlfriend over to drink and hang out. We decided to play 'drunken monopoly' (where basically everything that involves a roll of the dice or money gets replaced with alcohol based transactions).

Fast forward an hour and we are all very wasted. My girlfriend gets sick so I escort her to our bathroom where she, understandably, cleanses her system repeatedly. After she is done, I escort her to the bedroom and release her to the realm of blackout drunk sleep.

I returned to the living room to find my friend and his girlfriend had moved the party to the balcony and he was receiving furious.. oral pleasure.. from her. Being the stand up guy that I am I retreated to the kitchen to grab a bite and hopefully level off my buzz.

Upon completion of aforementioned sex acts I rejoined them to discover my friend completely naked standing on our third floor balcony facing the communal area of our apartment community while several middle aged women walked their dogs. I casually said to my friend that he should probably sit down or at least turn himself from the neighborhood lest they witness 'what he's packing.' Now, my friend is by no means 'hanging low' but I've never heard a more honest statement in my life. He looked at me, blurry eyed and careless, and said simply... 'i got what i got.'

They retreated to our guest bedroom and proceeded to have extremely angry sex, with the door open (wow), while i played ncaa football until I was capable of falling asleep.

tldr... my boy declares that he gives not 1 fuck about his penis size stating 'i got what i got'